One Must-Read Article

The Unstoppable Mindset: What a Navy SEAL Taught Me About Leading Myself

Have you ever caught yourself spiraling into negative thinking—only to have someone call you out on it?

That happened to me recently. A colleague pointed out that I’d slipped into a pattern of negativity. Their words hit like a slap—not because they were unkind, but because they were right.

We all go through stretches like that, but this one made me stop and think. Why was I letting negativity lead me? And more importantly, how could I change it?

That’s when I discovered a TEDx talk by Alden Mills, a three-time Navy SEAL platoon commander and entrepreneur. What he said re-framed how I think about leading myself—and everyone around me.

The Story That Explained Everything

Mills tells a story about 122 Navy SEAL candidates standing in front of what they called “the creature from the Black Lagoon” at their training compound. These weren’t beginners. They’d already passed the grueling physical tests four times over. They were as ready as anyone could be.

Then the lead instructor—a man who’d had half his backside blown off by a grenade—stepped forward and shared “the secret” to making it through SEAL training.

“You just have to decide what you’re going to think about,” he said. “Are you going to think about the pain of training, or the pleasure it can provide?”

Then came the line that hit me hardest:

“You’ve all been dreaming about being a SEAL on a sunny day. But your country doesn’t need SEALs on sunny days. She needs them on scary days—when it’s cold, dark, and wet.”

Of those 122 candidates, only 64 made it through. The difference wasn’t physical ability—it was mindset. Same bodies. Different conversations in their heads.

The Two Voices in My (Our) Head

Mills breaks down our inner dialogue into two simple voices. The moment I heard this, everything clicked.

The Whiner is loud, familiar, and oddly persuasive. It’s that ten-year-old part of you that just wants comfort and safety: “This is too hard. You’re going to fail. Who do you think you are?” The Whiner’s job is to keep you in the comfort zone—which also happens to be where mediocrity lives.

The Winner starts as a whisper. It’s calm, steady, and focused on forward motion: “Get up. Try again. Keep going. You can do this.” It’s the voice that builds momentum one small choice at a time.

Here’s the key: neither voice is “good” or “bad.” The only difference is which one gets your attention.

The Question That Changed My Leadership

Mills describes focus as a funnel. Whatever you pour into it gains energy and drives action. The secret is consciously choosing what you feed into that funnel.

His mental operating code is brilliantly simple:

“Is this thought helpful—or hurtful—to where I’m trying to go next?”

If it’s hurtful, switch. Don’t feed it.

That shift—from negative thinking to solution-focused thinking—changed how I lead. It’s not about silencing doubts. It’s about deciding which thoughts deserve your energy.

The $100 Million Lesson in Persistence

Mills lived this mindset himself. After leaving the Navy, he raised $1.5 million from friends and family to create a fitness product. Four years later, he’d spent $1.475 million learning what not to do.

Investors told him to fold, declare bankruptcy, and move on. His Whiner was screaming.

But instead of focusing on total failure, he asked one helpful question: “Can my team stay for 90 more days?”

That turned into one week. Then another. Then another. Eighty-seven days later, they launched the Perfect Pushup. Within three years: nearly $100 million in sales.

As Mills put it, that product was “always one conversation away from never happening.” One mental choice away from extinction—or breakthrough.

How I Rewired My Thinking

Understanding this framework gave me a way to work with my own thinking. Here’s what I started practicing:

1. Catch the Whiner in Real Time

In meetings, when someone challenges me or offers a new idea, I pause before responding. Which voice is speaking first? If it’s the Whiner, I acknowledge it—“Okay, I see the risks”—and then ask: “What would make this possible?”

2. Use the Helpful-or-Hurtful Filter

Before making decisions or responding to my colleagues, I ask: “Is this thought helpful or hurtful right now?” It’s a quick gut-check that saves time and builds trust. Not every cautious thought needs to be voiced. Not every fear needs to lead the conversation.

3. Stop Waiting for Sunny Days

The difficult moments—the ones that feel cold, dark, and wet—aren’t barriers to success. They are where success is built. That scary quarter when revenue dipped? That’s when you learn to innovate. That key person leaving? That’s when you build better systems.

Here’s My Take

Mills ends his talk with a truth that’s become my daily reminder:

“You have a leadership decision to make every single moment.”

It’s not on any org chart. It’s not about managing others. It’s about managing yourself—choosing, again and again, which thoughts you give power to. My colleague was right to call me out. I was thinking negatively, and it was holding me back.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

We rarely fail because we can’t do something. We fail because we lose control of the story we’re telling ourselves. That choice, made moment by moment, changes everything about how you lead and what you believe is possible.

So the next time your Whiner starts up, don’t argue—just smile, listen for your Winner, and hand them the mic.

That’s how you become unstoppable.